Recovery

Is going slowly. Josh forgets what he is capable of doing and not doing. Saturday he overdid it, Sunday he slept all day. Today we went to a little neighbor BBQ, he thinks he popped a stitch when he almost fell, and he had to catch himself. I think he needs a cane. When he left the BBQ he said, "Get one of these whipper snappers to help you carry the stuff home." Even in pain he has a sense of humor. Heaven knows how much I love that boy!!!

Just a bump in the road

This whole experience could have been totally life-changing. Chemotherapy, radiation, post-poning med school graduation, moving in with parents, planning a funeral, were all things going through my head. It was awful. Lots of tears were shed the first 24 hours after the MRI.

The power of prayer is real. The power of priesthood prayers is amazing. I had calmness and peace that was unreal. If you know me, you know how unstable I can be. I can be an emotional wreck. And I was, at first. Then the prayers started coming and I was a totally different person. I know that Father in Heaven cares for me personally. I know that he loves me, very much, and wants me to be the best that I can be. He blessed me to be stable, so I could be the rock that Josh needed during an unstable time.

And I want you to know that I have so much gratitude to our Father in Heaven. Even if Josh's diagnosis were cancer, I wouldn't be upset at Heavenly Father. I know that Heavenly Father sends us trials to test us, but he also wants to help us through them. I am thankful for the trials I have had, because they have made me stronger. I am so grateful for them! I love to have this testimony, so that I can understand and help other people struggling with similar things.

My testimony is real. And it's recently grown. I love experiences like this that help me to feel the power of heaven and help me to remember that Heavenly Father does love me and cares about me. My heart is full. I could never deny the Holy Ghost and the love Heavenly Father sends to us.

I'm thankful for this bump in the road. And I am even more grateful for what I have learned going through it.

Big sigh of relief

So far the preliminary shows the tumor is benign (meaning not cancerous!). It was 12 cm! Softball size!!! I have pictures. If you want to see them e-mail me and I'll have to get permission from Josh to send them your way! His Dr. was cool and took pictures of the leiomyoma. That is what it probably is. A very rare type of tumor. Especially for a man and for the location.

Josh on morphine, checking his I-phone, of course. So send him a message. :)

Ok, he looks really really loopy here. In his defense, I happened to snap this picture right before he blinked. He looks pretty normal, actually. What a cutie.

We are all breathing easier now!!!

Josh is having surgery

Josh and Cindy and I went to an Orthopedic Oncologist this morning. (Dr. dealing with cancer's of the soft tissue)

Josh is scheduled for surgery on Thursday morning to remove a tumor from his right hip.

It's definitely not a lipoma. It's more than that. Perhaps a liposarcoma, or a rhabdomyosarcoma.

The surgery will take about an hour, it's an overnight stay (unless Josh rebounds well, then minimally he has to stay for 8 hours).

The Orthopedic Oncologist we spoke with said 2 things. Good thing: It's superficial, meaning, it's on the top part of his muscle, not deep within the muscle. Bad thing: it grew quickly.

Liposarcoma's are usually deep in the tissue. Rhabdomyosarcoma's grow quickly.

There will be a pathologist in the Operating Room to do a preliminary look at the tumor, but we won't know for sure whether or not it's malignant for 4 or 5 days.

It's been interesting going through this. We've had prayers and prayers and prayers. And more prayers. I have felt them. I have felt so much peace! So much strength! Truly, I feel better now than I have when I've struggled with depression. I've had strength I've never felt before. And I know for a fact that I am not doing it on my own. There is no way. Thank you for your prayers.

Do you mind saying one more prayer for us?

p.s. sorry if you didn't hear about this, we've been somewhat quiet about this, wanting to find out more before we started telling about it.

Sorry, I didn't take my camera.

Deanna Rose Farmstead on May 20th

My charming boy:

Feeding Frenzy

Look who caught a fish! He actually got 4!

BIG growth in this boy:

He surprised me by riding on the horse all by himself. What a grown-up.

Good pictures from Josh's Birthday

ETA: this picture is after we had been bawling and Josh's face was still a little red. I felt bad at the time, to take his picture, but I am glad I did. Sorry Josh. It was a loaded moment. I just wanted to capture it.
Chick fil A for lunch: (ETA: I was in the backseat looking at this the whole time we drove. I'm going to get mushy here. I was in tears, thinking about my husband and what may happen. Would I get to see those eyes for as long as I originally thought I would?)

ETA: A heavy day. I remember looking at everybody else and feeling bad for us. We had just gotten awful news and I was really feeling sorry for myself and us. I was wondering if anybody else had gone through anything similar. I wanted to go talk to them and give them a hug.

Conrad didn't want his shoes off:

Corner Cafe cinnamon roll for Josh's birthday cake. (ETA: so much for the cheesecake I had originally planned on making. We were all emotionally drained. So Corner Cafe it was.)

A birthday for the record books.

We'll take some good news, thank you

It turns out McKall has the best type of Leukemia to get. Meaning, the survival and success rate is great. We are so happy for that news. We will take it and cling to it!!!

More prayers please

COUSINS: Left to right: Katie, Conrad and McKall (Christmas 2009)

Turns out little McKall got admitted into Primary Children's Medical Center last night. They are treating her for Leukemia. McKall is Josh's brother's daughter. She is a couple weeks younger than Conrad.

Can you believe it?
We are a numb.

Prayer time

I am not going to be very specific, but we could use some prayers and good thoughts.

Josh has a mass on his hip.

We've already had 2 Doctor appointments. We have a more important appointment on Tuesday to find out what it is, and when we find out, I'll let you know.

A simple "Thanks" is all I can give right now.

In the meantime, Happy 29th Birthday to Josh today.

Jaunt across the Mississippi to old Nauvoo

We have Grandma Cindy here!!! She had foot surgery a few weeks ago, so she gets time off work. Awesome for us! Cindy arrived on Wednesday evening, and in about 24 hours we decided to go see Nauvoo. It was a first for Cindy and Josh (and C and A).

I don't know what it is, but I swear Conrad kind of looks like Grandma Cindy, I've posted about it before! This picture demonstrates a bit of it. ...on the drive there...
Amelia getting comfy. "Sooos off."

Potty break somewhere. We found 3 ticks after this little break. Luckily, none on us. Amelia was not happy in the tall grass. Conrad managed to get his pants wet and cry about it (again).

We stayed in the Nauvoo Villas. It was an AWESOME deal for people with little kids that need separate quiet rooms. We had a kitchen, 2 full-size bathrooms, 2 King Size Beds, bunk beds, they provided us with a pack-n-play... kitchen was stocked with pans, utensils, etc. It was AWESOME. Perfect for us. It cost us the same, if not less, than what we spend at a hotel (and especially for 2 nights). And it was BETTER than a hotel. If you ever go to Nauvoo, you have to stay here. Here are some pictures of our little villa.

TV's in each bedroom, as well as one in the main sitting room.

Conrad kept saying, "I love our new house! I like it here in Nauvoo!" It was great.

Conrad was thrilled to be sleeping in a BUNK BED! And on the TOP! The first night I didn't sleep that well, just because everytime Conrad moved my senses were on high-alert. Josh doesn't remember doing this, but he practically jumped out of his sleep and in a forced whisper yelled, "CONRAD!" I was still awake. Conrad was fine. Josh then laid back down and said, "I thought he was standing up!" We were both pretty nervous, but surprisingly, he did just fine! Both nights!

Outside the Nauvoo Visitor's Center. The lush gardens to the south of the Visitor's Center.

Our little family.

Horse carriage ride. We got front-row seats. I was a negligent mom and forgot to pack jackets for the kids, so we bundled them up in between us and brought their blankets along.

... This was fun. My 2 favorite parts were when we drove across the limestone rock river (better than a Disneyland ride!) and also when one of the horses relieved itself Amelia yelled, "Orsey pooping!"

Inside one of the tours, Conrad and Josh helped make a rope. Right after this picture was taken Amelia pinched her hand. I felt awful. The tour guide had just finished saying, "Watch their hands, they can get pinched pretty easily!" I was focusing on getting a good picture- I did not pay attention to where Amelia was putting her hand.

Little resilient thing, she was OK, but her cries sure scared me at first. Cindy took this picture for me while I was helping Amelia calm down. Conrad is soo proud of his rope.

Here we are at Dottie's Family Dining. We felt good for supporting the locals, not the greatest food. Definitely eat at Magleby's, though.

Cover shot. C and A sitting in front of the statue of Joseph and Hyrum at the Historic Carthage Jail.

We had soo much fun. It was the best vacation I've had in a long time. No babies to nurse. No sick kids! Space! Bedtimes were wonderful! Food was excellent! Company was great!

Josh and I also got the chance to go to the Nauvoo Temple. Man oh man, it was wonderful. I was humbled by all the different feelings that going to Nauvoo brought. I wish I could bottle it and keep it. Absolutely wonderful. If I had to describe my trip in one word I would say: REVERENCE.

Happy Birthday Amelia!

Amelia about a week old:
Original birthdate:

My, Amelia, how you've changed in 2 years!

This girl is 2. Crazy!

She loves Dora. She normally calls her "Go Go," (I think from Go, Diego, Go... the other similar cartoon). Since we were in Nauvoo over her birthday I deocorated her cake this way:

(I did "B-day" b/c we were worried about running out of the purple gel paste crap).

Singing the song:




After we opened presents and finished eating our cake and ice-cream Josh and Cindy left to call cousin Alyssa and wish her a happy birthday (we did not get phone reception where we were!). One of Amelia's presents (from her cousin Alyssa and siblings, and ma and pa) were these candy necklaces. Amelia Loooooved them. So did Conrad and me, so we took a little photo.

... oh I love it now that BOTH my kids know how to smile on cue for a camera.

This girl knows how to make a mess of herself. But when you have cake, ice-cream and candy, and it's your birthday, you can get away with it. Don't you love her glasses? (Also from her cousins!) Thanks!!!

Since Amelia's birthday was Saturday (and we left Sunday) we did not finish all the cake in the pan. The pan belonged to the Villas. Something had to be done. Josh knew just what to do:

Happy Birthday, Amelia! We love you!

The best mother's day present ever

On Sunday (Mother's Day) I got the best gift any woman could ask for.

You see, in sacrament meeting (after the closing prayer) us Moms get a gift for being moms. This particular Sunday I was sitting up on the stand, away from my little ones... (you catch my drift?)... (I substituted for leading the music)... and after the closing prayer they announced for all the moms and girls 18 and up to stand up to receive a gift. I was standing. I was standing at the music stand to clean up my little music mess, when the poor deacon (a 12 or 13 year old boy) walked up to me and said, "Are you 18?"


I practically yelled back at him, "Are you kidding me?!?" I thought someone had put him up to it. (Someone who was sitting up on the stand, someone who he had just passed by and I thought I saw him say something to the deacon...)


The deacon kind of shrugged, handed me the gift and walked off. I immediately said to the Brother sitting on the stand, "You put him up to this!" He just laughed, so I kept repeating myself. "You put him up to this!" "You put him up to this." He never denied it. So I went on my way.


A few minutes later, down in the crowd the Brother walked by and said, "You don't look a day over 17!" So basically, he did not put the deacon up to it. The deacon was indeed serious.


Poor poor deacon. I owe him an apology, and a thank-you. After my grandma experience at the grocery store it was the perfect gift!! (The clerk referred to my grandkids... ehhh).

I was given the gift of youth!me. Not a grandma! photo taken by my little apprentice, Conrad

a post for moms

Wow, I so needed this. (For moms)

CLICK

Prisencolinensinainciusol with English subtitles

This is too cool to not share. I've already posted it on Facebook. This is just to guarantee everybody out there I love sees it. It's an Italian, Adriano Celentano, singing a song that sounds like English to him. Totally doesn't make sense. I love it. My style of dancing, too!

Missing

Hi everybody.

It's me, Ali. I miss you. I am at the 4 month mark of going without seeing mi familia and I am feeling it. I am checking facebook at least twice a day. Checking the blogs probably the same amount. I need a pick-me up.

In other news: Josh hates his pediatric rotation. Only because the Dr. he's with won't let the student's go into the patient room, not until next week. Nothing against the peds.

July July July.

Above is a picture of Amelia taken last night. We ventured on over to our park by the cool casino. The picture kind of reminds me of a picture of me. I'll have to find it and scan it in.

Zoo!

Today: the PERFECT day for a zoo visit. We had such a good time, too.

I didn't take that many pictures. It is hard to get a good shot with 2 little kids, let alone 2 little kids and an animal in the faraway background. So here are just a few photos for documenting.
Conrad rocked in the rocking chair while he ate lunch. We were watching 3 lions sleeping.

Josh and Conrad looking at a gorilla. The gorilla kept his back to us.

Me and Amelia waiting for the boys visiting the summer house.

When we were leaving I put my foot down and told Josh I HAD to get a picture of us all together. This is as good as it gets!

the pictures pretty much speak for themselves!

When we were driving away I asked Conrad what his favorite part about the whole zoo visit was and his reply?

Climbing on the rocks.

Man, I love that kid.

look below for a post about our petting zoo visit (I posted it tonight with Tuesday's date, so it shows up a couple of posts down)

Relief Society Activity

Yeah, we have a cool relief society.

What you are about to see is a picture of me getting ready to repel down a wall. After this picture was taken I managed to go down "Spiderman Style." Yes, I went down the wall head first. I haven't done anything like this for a long time. It was sooooo fun!
Climbing a rock wall!

The best for last!

Ziplining!